nOw

It's raining outside my office and I'm sitting here reflecting my past and thinking about my future. Restructuring and re-planning my life which right now filled with nothing. I've become numb in this past two three days and I actually get used to it. It become a lot easier and comfy after a while.

11.30 a.m - "lepakking @ teratai" or "curi tulang" there. Having a little conversation with "Teh Ais" in front of me together with my mates and it was a very short and meaningful conversation. After a while I start to wonder at this moment what the hell I'm doing? Living my life meaningless without any purpose. Working my ass off and then saving my money for nothing. I just love to see the big number but what's the purpose? Then my mate said "when you already commit to someone then only you'll feel alive" It makes sense and I used to have that feeling but it's already dead and gone. I need to start from scratch and I've already give up on it. Then they told me, that things will come when the times is right. No need to look up for it juz patiently wait and it'll come somehow. I agreed. Looking for it will never works and it never work for me before, and maybe I should wait for it.

p/s - I'm not holding on but I'm letting go...